Skip to main content
Published Online:https://doi.org/10.1027/1864-9335/a000392

Abstract. Research has shown that ideal romantic standards predict future partner characteristics and influence existing relationships, but how standards develop and change among single individuals has yet to be explored. Guided by the Ideal Standards Model (ISM), the present study sought to determine whether repeated experiences of romantic rejection and acceptance over time were associated with change in ideal standards, ideal flexibility, and self-perceived mate value (N = 208). Results suggest repeated experiences of rejection correspond to decreases in ideal standards and self-perceived mate value and increases in ideal flexibility, though no effects emerged for acceptance. Given the predictive nature of ideal standards and the link rejection has with such, findings from this study contribute to a greater understanding of relationship formation processes.

References

  • Brase, G. L., & Guy, E. C. (2004). The demographics of mate value and self-esteem. Personality and Individual Differences, 36, 471–484. https://doi.org/10.1016/S0191-8869(03)00117-X First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Buss, D. M., & Schmitt, D. P. (1993). Sexual strategies theory: An evolutionary perspective on human mating. Psychological Review, 100, 204–232. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-295x.100.2.204 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Buston, P. M., & Emlen, S. T. (2003). Cognitive processes underlying human mate choice: The relationship between self-perception and mate preference in Western society. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 100, 8805–8810. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1533220100 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Buyukcan-Tetik, A., Campbell, L., Finkenauer, C., Karremans, J. C., & Kappen, G. (2017). Ideal standards, acceptance, and relationship satisfaction: Latitudes of differential effects. Frontiers in Psychology, 8, 1–11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.01691 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Campbell, L., Chin, K., & Stanton, S. C. (2016). Initial evidence that individuals form new relationships with partners that more closely match their ideal preferences. Collabra: Psychology, 2, 1–7. https://doi.org/10.1525/collabra.24 First citation in articleGoogle Scholar

  • Campbell, L., Overall, N. C., Rubin, H., & Lackenbauer, S. D. (2013). Inferring a partner’s ideal discrepancies: Accuracy, projection, and the communicative role of interpersonal behavior. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 105, 217–233. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0033009 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Campbell, L., Simpson, J. A., Kashy, D. A., & Fletcher, G. J. (2001). Ideal standards, the self, and flexibility of ideals in close relationships. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 27, 447–462. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167201274006 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Conroy-Beam, D., Goetz, C. D., & Buss, D. M. (2016). What predicts romantic relationship satisfaction and mate retention intensity: Mate preference fulfillment or mate value discrepancies? Evolution and Human Behavior, 37, 440–448. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.evolhumbehav.2016.04.003 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Csajbók, Z., & Berkics, M. (2017). Factor, factor, on the whole, who’s the best fitting of all?: Factors of mate preferences in a large sample. Personality and Individual Differences, 114, 92–102. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2017.03.044 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • DeWall, C. N., & Bushman, B. J. (2011). Social acceptance and rejection: The sweet and the bitter. Current Directions in Psychological Science, 20, 256–260. https://doi.org/10.1177/0963721411417545 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Eaton, A. A., & Rose, S. (2011). Has dating become more egalitarian? A 35-year review using sex roles. Sex Roles, 64, 843–862. https://doi.org/10.1007/s11199-011-9957-9 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Edlund, J. E., & Sagarin, B. J. (2010). Mate value and mate preferences: An investigation into decisions made with and without constraints. Personality and Individual Differences, 49, 835–839. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2010.07.004 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Fletcher, G. J., Simpson, J. A., & Thomas, G. (2000). Ideals, perceptions, and evaluations in early relationship development. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 79, 933–940. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.79.6.933 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Fletcher, G. J., Simpson, J. A., Thomas, G., & Giles, L. (1999). Ideals in intimate relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76, 72–89. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.76.1.72 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Fisher, M., Cox, A., Bennett, S., & Gavric, D. (2008). Components of self-perceived mate value. Journal of Social, Evolutionary, and Cultural Psychology, 2, 156–168. https://doi.org/10.1037/h0099347 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Gerlach, T. M., Arslan, R. C., Schultze, T., Reinhard, S. K., & Penke, L. (2019). Predictive validity and adjustment of ideal partner preferences across the transition into romantic relationships. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 116, 313–330. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspp0000170 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Kavanagh, P. S., Fletcher, G. J., & Ellis, B. J. (2014). The mating sociometer and attractive others: A double-edged sword in romantic relationships. The Journal of Social Psychology, 154, 126–141. https://doi.org/10.1080/00224545.2013.872594 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Kavanagh, P. S., Robins, S. C., & Ellis, B. J. (2010). The mating sociometer: A regulatory mechanism for mating aspirations. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 99, 120–132. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0018188 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Kenrick, D. T., Groth, G. E., Trost, M. R., & Sadalla, E. K. (1993). Integrating evolutionary and social exchange perspectives on relationships: Effects of gender, self-appraisal, and involvement level on mate selection criteria. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 64, 951–969. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.64.6.951 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Kirkpatrick, L. A., & Ellis, B. J. (2003). An evolutionary-psychological approach to self-esteem: Multiple domains and multiple functions. In G. J. FletcherM. S. ClarkEds., Blackwell handbook of social psychology: Interpersonal processes (pp. 411–436). Oxford, UK: Blackwell. https://doi.org/10.1002/9780470998557.ch16 First citation in articleGoogle Scholar

  • Kirsner, B. R., Figueredo, A. J., & Jacobs, W. J. (2003). Mate Value Inventory-11. [Database record] Retrieved from PsycTESTS. https://doi.org/10.1037/t10286-000 First citation in articleGoogle Scholar

  • Landolt, M. A., Lalumière, M. L., & Quinsey, V. L. (1995). Sex differences in intra-sex variations in human mating tactics: An evolutionary approach. Ethology and Sociobiology, 16, 3–23. https://doi.org/10.1016/0162-3095(94)00012-v First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Leary, M. R., & Baumeister, R. F. (2000). The nature and function of self-esteem: Sociometer theory. Advances in Experimental Social Psychology, 32, 1–62. https://doi.org/10.1016/s0065-2601(00)80003-9 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Leary, M. R., & Downs, D. L. (1995). Interpersonal functions of the self-esteem motive. In M. H. KernisEd., Efficacy, agency, and self-esteem (pp. 123–144). Boston, MA: Springer. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-1-4899-1280-0_7 First citation in articleGoogle Scholar

  • Overall, N. C., Fletcher, G. J., & Simpson, J. A. (2006). Regulation processes in intimate relationships: The role of ideal standards. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 91, 662–685. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.91.4.662 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Pass, J. A., Lindenberg, S. M., & Park, J. H. (2010). All you need is love: Is the sociometer especially sensitive to one’s mating capacity? European Journal of Social Psychology, 40, 221–234. https://doi.org/10.1002/ejsp.619 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Penke, L., & Denissen, J. J. (2008). Sex differences and lifestyle-dependent shifts in the attunement of self-esteem to self-perceived mate value: Hints to an adaptive mechanism? Journal of Research in Personality, 42, 1123–1129. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jrp.2008.02.003 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Penke, L., Todd, P. M., Lenton, A. P., & Fasolo, B. (2007). How self-assessments can guide human mating decisions. In G. GeherM. MillerEds., Mating intelligence: Sex, relationships, and the mind’s reproductive system (pp. 37–75). New York, NY: Psychology Press. First citation in articleGoogle Scholar

  • Regan, P. C. (1998a). Minimum mate selection standards as a function of perceived mate value, relationship context, and gender. Journal of Psychology & Human Sexuality, 10, 53–73. https://doi.org/10.1300/J056v10n01_04 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Regan, P. C. (1998b). What if you can’t get what you want? Willingness to compromise ideal mate selection standards as a function of sex, mate value, and relationship context. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 24, 1294–1303. https://doi.org/10.1177/01461672982412004 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Reeve, S. D., Kelly, K. M., & Welling, L. L. (2016). The effect of mate value feedback on women’s mating aspirations and mate preference. Personality and Individual Differences, 115, 77–82. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.paid.2016.06.007 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Ruan, L. J., & Zhang, L. (2012). The influence of mate-rejection on self-perceived mate value: Testing the mating sociometer. Advances in Psychology, 2, 243–249. https://doi.org/10.12677/ap.2012.25038 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Simpson, J. A., Fletcher, G. J., & Campbell, L. (2001). The structure and function of ideal standards in close relationships. In G. J. FletcherM. S. ClarkEds., Blackwell handbook of social psychology: Interpersonal processes (pp. 86–106). Oxford, UK: Blackwell. https://doi.org/10.1002/9780470998557.ch4 First citation in articleGoogle Scholar

  • Surbey, M. K., & Brice, G. R. (2007). Enhancement of self-perceived mate value precedes a shift in men’s preferred mating strategy. Acta Psychologica Sinica, 39, 513–522. Retrieved from https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-06914-014 First citation in articleGoogle Scholar

  • Tadinac, M., & Hromatko, I. (2007). Own mate value and relative importance of a potential mate’s qualities. Studia Psychologica, 49, 251–263. Retrieved from https://psycnet.apa.org/record/2007-17121-006 First citation in articleGoogle Scholar

  • Todd, P. M., Penke, L., Fasolo, B., & Lenton, A. P. (2007). Different cognitive processes underlie human mate choices and mate preferences. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 104, 15011–15016. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.0705290104 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar

  • Trivers, R. (1972). Parental investment and sexual selection. In B. CampbellEd., Sexual selection and the descent of man: 1871–1971 (pp. 136–179). Chicago, IL: Aldine. https://doi.org/10.4324/9781315129266-7 First citation in articleGoogle Scholar

  • Zhang, L., Liu, S., Li, Y., & Ruan, L. J. (2015). Heterosexual rejection and mate choice: A sociometer perspective. Frontiers in Psychology, 6, 1–11. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.01846 First citation in articleCrossrefGoogle Scholar